Rely on the Nembutsu

So often my mind can get muddled. Some days not so much, but often it gets muddled and tells me things that I find annoying or worrisome. So I say the Nembutsu and I feel much better. I say the Nembutsu and know that my thoughts are not me.

My mind likes to run away with things and go in directions that I don't want to go. A mind is something that always wants to be moving. So when I say the Nembutsu it helps me focus on Amida's compassionate vow to save us unenlightened folks and send us to the Pureland where we will become Buddhas and our minds will be brought under control.

Now I just shrug off my mind and accept it for what it is. A mind. Just like I try to accept others for who they are because I don't know their karma and I shouldn't judge another's path. Just as Amida shows an unenlightened being like myself compassion, so I am compelled to do the same to others if I can. So I try, and even if I fail I just say the Nembutsu anyways, as Amida understands us and will take us to his Pureland.

Namo Amitabhaya

Shinjin growing

Lately I find my shinjin or faith in Amida's vow is getting strong. I say the Nembutsu often. It is very helpful to do so. It reminds me of the vow Amida made and how it will lead me to the Pureland where I will become a Buddha. It also helps tame my annoying monkey mind that won't stop chattering. Although my monkey mind makes me realize how unenlightened I truly am and how important it is to rely on and have faith in Amida's vow.

Namo Amida Bu

No guilt thank you

Guilt is a bad emotion/feeling I find. I used to feel a lot of guilt when I was a Christian if I didn't live what I saw as a Christian life. Christianity pays no attention to karma and often assumes everyone should be and act the same, without understanding how diverse people are when it comes to emotions, understandings, etc.

The Amida Buddha had great understanding and knew very well that everyone was different based on the karma one gathered through uncountable lives. All he asks is one say the Nembutsu a few times and trust in his vow. No need for piety or 'clean livin'. You can be yourself and not feel guilty about not changing based on the demands of some words in an old book.

As I always mention this doesn't mean one should live a life of hedonism and debauchery. It is good to try and be healthy and in control. But one should not feel excess pressure to change. Amida knows your karma and will take care of it in the Pureland. If you struggle with eating too much or sleeping around too much then please make efforts to try and be healthy if you can, but don't guilt yourself into it. Be a unhealthy eater who says the Nembutsu or a oversexed Nembutsu practitioner. There is karma in those actions that will effect you in this life, know that. One cannot eat fried food everyday or sleep with many parteners and not suffer someway down the line, but this karma will not follow you into the afterlife.

Amida knows how we are unable to fix ourselves fully in this existance. Amida knows your karma. Trust in his vow and say the Nembutsu.

Namo Amitabhaya

Monkey Mind be quiet!

Oh how the monkey mind likes to chatter in your ear. Endless ravings and rantings or perhaps just a little nugget it plants in your thoughts and sends you into a tizzy. My monkey mind was after me this morning. Every thing I did my mind was there to tell me something about it. So I said the Nembutsu. Namo Amitabhaya and my mind shut up.

Is the purpose of the Nembutsu to make your mind quiet? No, not really. But it is a good side effect I think. It is meditative in its very essence, but most importantly it's there to tell you there is nothing you can do to enlighten or save yourself. All you need to do is say the Nembutsu and Amida will do the rest.

So when you monkey mind acts up, shut it up with the Nembutsu. And if the chatter still gets through, don't sweat it, because they are just thoughts and mean nothing at all. No different then drunken babble. Say the Nembutsu and relax in the vow of Amida.

Nembutsu anywhere

One of the best parts of the Nembutsu is its mobility. You can do it anywhere. While out for a walk, while driving, while at work, while using the toilet. It doesn't matter. I recently have been doing zazen as a regular practice and while it has been beneficial, it requires a 'time and place' to do properly. That is something in short supply for me lately. Mainly because I can be quite lazy and not want to 'work', especially 'spiritual' work. But that's ok, it's just the way it is! The Nembutsu has me covered there.

An example would be the other day I had just finished my zazen and came downstairs and found my mind was in a dreadful state of disorder. Odd I thought. My zazen seems less effective lately. Or my monkey mind is fighting back. Feeling a bit 'annoyed' at this, I automatically started saying the Nembutsu. Instantly my mind went back to normal and all was well. I chanted the Nembutsu all night while I went about my business of watering the grass, smoking a pipe and drinking a scotch. Now this wasn't 'magic' or some esoteric stuff. It's just simply the relaxing feeling of knowing that nothing is expected of me and my mind doesn't matter. As Alan Watts stated on the Nembutsu....

"saying Nembutsu is simply a symbolical way of pointing out that you don't have to become this, because you are it...
The Middle Way, right down the center, is where you don't have to do a thing to justify yourself, and you don't have to justify not justifying yourself. So, there is something quite fascinating and tricky in this doctrine of the great bodhisattva Amitabha, who saves you just as you are, who delivers you from bondage just as you are. You only have to say "Namu Amida butsu."

Well said Mr. Watts....Namo Amida Butsu

Don't pressure yourself

Many works based religions like Christianity and Islam want you to change. They want you to become more 'holy' or 'righteous'. You have to give up things that can be difficult to give up. You are forced to pressure yourself to be a certain way. And when you fail at this there is some compassion but you must repent first then try again to be this 'certain way'.

This is all very hard on a person and shows a lack of understanding of karma and a person's karmic debt. That is the beauty of the vow of Amida Buddha. His compassion shows he understands karma and how karmic debt can prevent people from achieving their most 'holy' and 'righteous' selves to the point that constantly trying to achieve it is pointless.

Now, once again, I won't say a person should not try and overcome their problems. They can and should try, but this is so they can live a more peaceful and happy life, not because their is a deity watching over them wanting them to not  'sin'. And if the difficult struggle against one's problems is causing too much issues and leading a person to depression and guilt then a person should accept their karma and who they are.

If a person just can't give up booze, then let them be a drunk who rests in the compassionate vow of the Amida Buddha. Sure it would be better for their health if they didn't drink so much, but perhaps their karma is just more then they can handle. There should be no pressure. Amida understands and expects nothing from you.

Namo Amida Bu

Lazy with the Nembutsu

I have been lazy lately and not saying the Nembutsu much. Then I feel bad about it, but before I worry to much about it I say the Nembutsu once maybe twice before my monkey mind starts thinking of video games and pizza pops. And that's ok. Amida is compassionate and knows how unenlightened we are and will welcome us into his Pureland regardless of where we are at.

Namo Amida Bu

Ignoring my mind

I have talked before about the 'monkey mind' and how it can be a pain in the ass to ignore it, Meditation and other techniques can help but I find the best thing is to just realize that your mind actually IS 'monkey mind' and pay it no attention. Treat your mind like a stupid friend who won't shut up and constantly lies, makes stuff up and is generally annoying. You know he's full of shit so you just ignore him and what he says. Your mind is pretty much the same.

When my mind starts going crazy at one time I would say 'hey I need to meditate more'. Now I just ignore my mind and maybe mutter the Nembutsu a few times.

Namo Amida Bu.

No fruit required

Someone recently told me that the surest way to salvation is through the Christian faith. As a former Christian (a few times over) I told them that I find Christianity too 'works' based. The person was flabbergasted. "Surely you are mistaken." he said, "Christianity is about grace where Jesus does everything for you. It is other religions that are works based!"

In my journey I have discovered the only path that doesn't require 'works' is the path of the Nembutsu. The compassionate vow of the Amida Buddha saves us and we can do nothing but say the Nembutsu, if only a few times.

What's the difference between that and when a Christian 'accepts' Jesus?

If that's where it ended for a Christian there maybe wouldn't be so much of a difference, but it doesn't. There are certain things expected of a Christian. Certain 'fruits' should be brought to bear proving they are truly a Christian. An example may be if a drug addict decided to become one, it would be expected he would quit using. If he kept going back to his 'old ways' it would be said he most likely doesn't truly have the 'spirit' in him and is not a Christian. I am not saying Christianity lacks compassion for people who struggle with their 'sin', but there is pressure to overcome your karma, which is not possible. Of course one can overcome their problems, for example the drug addict could quit using if his karma allowed it, but it shouldn't be a determining factor in his salvation. I know several people who got over their alcoholism after becoming Christians. I am just saying even if they stayed drunks, it shouldn't have been as issue.

I suppose this idea of fruits of the spirit comes from the Christian idea of the Holy Spirit which actually gives you the power to overcome your karmic debt. From observing Christianity and being a part of it I rarely see this happen however for any extended period. The karma built up after many, many lifetimes is not easy, if not impossible to overcome. I see many struggle to continually overcome what they see as their 'sin', driving themselves crazy, when they could just say 'it's ok, Amida has got my back, no matter what. Namo Amida Bu'. They can be sinful Nembutsu practitioners and have peace of mind instead of endlessly feeling guilty about their sin.

Another issue I found really works based was that one is also to engage in fellowship and go to church (even if they are an introvert and don't really dig idle fellowship or sitting listening to sermons), read their Bible (even if they don't enjoy reading it) and pray (even if prayer isn't their thing). There is a lot expected of a Christian after they 'accept' Jesus, even if on the surface it is said the works are not part of your standard Protestant theology.

Oddly enough the Calvinist or Reformed theologies in Christianity preach that we really can do nothing to save ourselves, yet still preach there is works we 'should' do and there should be 'evidence' or that we 'bear good fruit' as a sign of the spirit.

I want to share now a blog post from Amida-Ji Retrat Temple in Romania written by Rev Josho....

Some time ago I was in correspondence with a drug addict who showed great interest in the Jodo Shinshu teaching. He had a hard time trying again and again to give up taking drugs but he always returned to his bad habit. More than this, he was afraid that he cannot be saved by Amida as he is. 

I said to him:

Just entrust to Amida Buddha as you are. If you can abstain, and is useful to try, this would be good for your health, but if you cannot, don’t worry. Jodo Shinshu is especially for people who cannot abstain, who are incapable of any practice, for those that any advice or any treatment is useless, for people whose minds are too sick to recover from their problems, anxieties, and deviations. Its not that they especially want to be like this, but their habitual karma is too strong for them to overcome. After many years and even many lives of taking the drugs of ignorance and blind passions how can one think and act like a normal person? How can one practice Buddhism and become a Buddha by himself?

I met many times with alcoholics  and told them the same if they asked me questions on Buddhism. If you tried and cannot give up, then be an alcoholic who entrusts to Amida. Be an alcoholic or drug addict nembutsu follower.  Be a bad Buddhist who entrusts to Amida.

Jodo Shinshu is the path for sick people, for those without hope. Its the path for alcoholics, drug addicts, and all kind of people with strong attachments. All are equally accepted by the Compassion and Primal Vow of Amida Buddha. So please, come as you are.  Your salvation is in Amida's hands, not yours.

You can try to cure yourself of any addiction you have, but do NOT postpone taking refuge in Amida Buddha until you become ready, or clean or worthy...  You are saved not because you "deserve", but because Amida loves you unconditionally.

Namo Amida Butsu
http://www.amida-ji-retreat-temple-romania.blogspot.ca/2015/07/a-bad-buddhist-who-entrusts-to-amida_2.html

There is salvation! Salvation from having to try and overcome your crushing karmic debt. Of course if you struggle with a destructive tendency it is good to try and work on it, but you should know that the Amida Buddha accepts you for who you are at every moment, not the impossible 'enlightened' and 'righteous' self that other paths try to make you become. With Amida, there is no fruit required, and that should give you peace!

Namo Amida Butsu

Wonderful simplicity

I would always worry if I was doing enough in my chosen spiritual path. Was I praying enough as a Christian? Meditating enough when I was into Zen? Practicing my workings enough when I was into the occult? It can go on and on....

It was never really enough. I couldn't ever relax and let my mind chill out. Mainly because my mind was always sending me on a goose chase asking these questions.

Today I wonder if I am doing enough in regards to the Buddha Dharma. I realize no I am not, then I say the Nembutsu.

Namo Amida Butsu.

So simple. That is all I need to do. My mind is at ease at such a simple thing. Such compassion showed by Amida to us unenlightened fools who think we can save ourselves. No more worrying about doing enough, because doing enough isn't necessary. Just say the Nembutsu and Amida will guide you to the Pureland.

Namo Amida Butso.

Death and attachment

The age old question has always been, what happens when we die? There is no need for me to go into the huge variety of answers as you probably already know many of the ideas yourself, but it's interesting to consider the idea of attachment to yourself and others as it relates to death,

Many people take comfort that their present self and/or their loved ones will exist forever. It's not uncommon. I have been there and can still go there at times. It's the common belief in Christianity and even more 'secular' ideas of 'God' and 'Heaven' that we will all meet in 'Paradise' one day and live in peace and bliss for eternity. The idea that Grandma and Granpa are up in heaven smiling down on us and waiting to see us again.

However what we are attached to (ourselves and loved ones) ceases to exist after death. Now I don't mean annihilation or atheistic nothingness, but it's the whole that makes us who we are right now. Our impermanent current self. I am a combination of my body and my mind. That's very basic as we can go deeper. I am a certain amount of cells and organs and....blah blah. You get the picture. One of my favourite blogs is Amida-Ji Retreat Temple (http://amida-ji-retreat-temple-romania.blogspot.ca/) and Rev. Josho, the priest, broke it down nicely. Basically using the analogy of a car. If you take apart the car into individual pieces and sell some and throw some out, the car doesn't really exist anymore in that state and neither will we after death.

We are right now, what we are made up of. Even our current self is a bit different then ourself many years ago as our mind and body change. You don't think the same way. I can read old emails I wrote to relatives and it sounds like a different person writing them, and in a sense it was. We are so very impermanent.

What is the constant then? Is there something permanent? Sure, the 'mindstream' as some call it. The part of us that continues to be reborn in endless rebirths in the karmic samsara. When it enters a new body it is no longer who it was in the past rebirth. It's housed by new parts that make a new being. Your loved ones that you hope to see again one day have already moved on to new lives. Or maybe if they said the Nembutsu and trusted in Amida's vow they are in the Pureland now, Buddhas!

What is the cure for this obsession with impermanence? Say the Nembutsu. Why? Will it make my mind super peaceful and accepting of impermanence? Hardly. But it will give you peace that your impermanence may be coming to an end. For if you say the Nembutsu and have faith in Amida's vow, you will be reborn in the Pureland as a Buddha and it's only a Buddha who can recall all his many, many rebirths. Then impermanence will seem quite trivial when you see the endless lives that your mindstream participated it. How silly were we all to be attached to just one. But it's understandable, as we are all unenlightened in this age of Dharma decline. Attachment is the root of our suffering. And that's ok, so just say the Nembutsu and become a Buddha!

Namo Amida Bu.

Tired after holidays

The holidays are finally over and it's been a busy time for many. So busy that I didn't have much time to ponder the Buddha Dharma. Do I feel bad about it? No not really. Should I? Yes probably, but because of my unenlightenment, I have trouble caring and Amida Buddha understands that. And at the few times I did think 'gee I should spend some time focusing on the compassion of Amida' then I remember all I have to do is say the Nembutsu a few times and all is well.

Namo Amida Butsu

Namo Amida Bu

So simple. Just saying that, even in my unenlightened state, brings me great peace. Not because it's some 'magic' mantra, but because I know the Amida Buddha has me covered and I will be a Buddha in the Pureland one day because of his incredible compassion, even when I am more interested right now in scotch and video games.

And of course it doesn't mean one shouldn't try to focus on the Dharma if and when they can, but there should be no pressure as there is really nothing you can do to become enlightened. All you can do is say the Nembutsu and trust in Amida's vow.

Namo Amida Butsu.

Monkey mind should be ignored

Half of the problem, or maybe even most of the problem with an unenlightened mind is the 'monkey mind'. The part of our brain that won't shut up. It can lead us on endless wild goose chases like I have mentioned before. The monkey mind is the enemy of faith in Amida Buddha. It keeps me wanting to explore and not trust in the Buddha, It tells me there is ways I can be enlightened in this life despite my karma. The monkey mind likes to keep you confused and scared but also full of hope that you can become a buddha here and now, which is false.

There is ways to quite the monkey mind.....

-Meditation - It works. It helps. It's not perfect though. Your monkey mind may be suppressed and easier to ignore, but it's still there and gets louder when you don't keep up your practice.

-Booze - Drinking shuts your mind up, but drinking too much or too often isn't good for your health.

-Nembutsu and forget - What does this mean? It means don't worry about your mind. Know it's tricks and say 'it's ok my mind is telling me that I can save myself and that my cat will die next week because my mind is talking out it's ass and it doesn't speak the truth'. Then say the Nembutsu and smile because Amida Buddha has got your back.

Namo Amida Butsu

Almost there....again

As I mentioned in my last post I recently thought I had figured out enlightenment again. Thought that I was so darn close to taking that step into figuring out everything and how to acheive all my goals and desires. I have been there countless times without every 'figuring it out' but it doesn't seem to change the fact that I keep getting drawn back there. And that's my karma. The karma of a seeker. Some ego comes with that too. A seeker sometimes thinks they are better then those who realize their inability to save themselves. As I said...karma.

It gets tiring trying to save yourself spiritually. Over the recent holidays I felt like I always had to do something to keep my path towards enlightenment going. I got sick of it and in my desperation muttered the Nembutsu and remembered Amida's wonderful vow to save us unenlightened fools.

When I was a Christian I felt the same. Always having to pray or read the Bible to feel 'connected'. I was a Calvinist too meaning I shouldn't have to do anything but there was still 'expectations' of what a Christian should do. Amida says 'don' worry'. Say the Nembutsu and rely on me,

Ok. I will do that.

Namo Amida Butsu

I'm back after another circle of unenlightnement...

Once again I am shown how I am a fool and unenlightened. For the last month or so I was once again caught up in the idea that I found a path that would lead to all my desires being filled and eventually to be enlightened in this life. I stopped saying the Nembutsu even though I liked saying it. It's like I knew if I kept saying it I would not forget that this path was just like all the others I posted about. I didn't listen and I did forget and chased another white rabbit around for a month.

I won't lie, the experience was interesting but it all of a sudden hit me one day it's a path I have been down before. Oh how foolish I am to forget to say the Nembutsu and remember the vow of Amida where I can be a buddha after I die in his Pureland.

So yesterday I started saying the Nembutsu again and I think that is good. There is no magic rushing of 'extascy' at saying this phrase again. No magic or supernatural feeling. Just the knowledge that I am back on a path to eventual enlightenment in the Pureland. Also it feels peaceful to know that it's ok to be the unenlightened fool that I am because Amida has my back with is vow.

I post this to show that even when one lectures about the way of the Nembutsu, it doesn't mean they are enlightened. They are still a fool like myself and I hope you stay on the path of the Nembutsu and if you leave it you come back so you can escape the Samsara.

I'm lazy and that's ok

As much as I loved my spiritual walks and various journeys in the end I always got lazy with the practice. And when I got lazy with the practice I would usually get frustrated and feel disconnected from that path. Most likely I would eventually leave and move on.

My path with Amida can be similar, except now I know that it's ok to be lazy with your spiritual practice. Even when I am totally not interested in my 'shinjin' (faith in Amida), I know even if I mutter the Nembutsu just a few times, all is ok. I am unenlightened and not expected to save myself in this life from the samsara, or ever for that matter.

Of course being diligent and studying the Dharma is important, but not stressing about it is the key. Only do what you can and what you want to. You can't save yourself by reading the becoming a Dharma scholar, but it can help you on your journey with the Amida.

Focus mostly on saying the Nembutsu as much or as little as you want. That will remind you that even though you may be lazy today, it doesn't matter because it's Amida doing the work that will take you to the Pureland, not you. Being lazy can actually be a benefit to your shinjin, as you will learn to rely more on Amida Buddha and less on yourself for enlightenment.

Namo Amida Bu

I'm happy, even if I am unenlightened

Many people say, 'why are you so down? why are calling yourself unenlightened? you seem so negative about your life!'

When I hear this I tell them that I am not down, I am not negative, but I am unenlightened. I actually get great peace and happiness knowing I can rest in Amida's vow and I no longer have to worry about my spiritual path, but I am still unenlightened.

And that doesn't mean I or anyone else can't do wonderful things in this life if it's our karma to do so. I will admit there is many things I am good at. I know people who do and create amazing things. This is not what I am talking about when I get down on my enlightenment. I could build 10,000 bridges of amazing engineering, and I could be proud of that, but it won't make me enlightened. Spiritually there is no way to save myself, except through Amida's vow.

Simply put, feel free to pursue your goals, dreams and desires. Be proud of your accomplishments, but remember, when it comes to spirituality or your enlightenment, there should be no ego there, as you can not become enlightened in this life or the next, without the Amida Buddha's help. And that doesn't mean him helping you do the work of enlightenment, but you taking your hands off the wheel and turning over your enlightenment completely to him. All you need to do is trust in the vow and say the Nembutsu when you remember to. And even if you forget to do the Nembutsu as much as you would like to do, no worries....

Namo Amida Bu

Not interested in Buddha Dharma today...

...and that's ok. An unenlightened chap such as myself finds it hard to stay interested in such things for a long period of time. So I just say the Nembutsu a bit and know that Amida has got me covered. In past paths I would really get down on myself if I lost interest in my practices. No more, thanks to the vows of the Amida Buddha. It is so amazing how even when I am 'meh' on Buddha Dharma that saying the Nembutsu instead is so reassuring.

Namo Amida Bu

It's ok to not always think what you think is right

The title may not make the most sense, but let me explain. In my past experiences with different religions and ideologies I always felt I had to 'tow the line' of what that specific path valued. For the most part this was really difficult as alot of the time I didn't really agree.

When I was a Christian I felt I should be against gay marriage or the homosexual lifestyle in order for my views to line up with Christian 'values'. The problem was I had NO problem with gay marriage or homosexuals. I felt I was being torn in two different directions. One way was what I really thought and the other with what I thought I should think.

Another example was when I got into neo-paganism (more specifically Druidry). It was heavy on nature and the environment. While I like to do what I can for the environment, I found this path made me feel I should care more about something which I wasn't really passionate about. It felt fake.

Thankfully via the vows of the Amida Buddha I don't have to worry about what I think anymore. If I feel strongly about something, by current path won't make me feel like I have to change it. All my path wants me to do is trust that I will be reborn in the Pureland and say the Nembutsu. Beyond that, nothing is expected of me. It's real liberation to feel that. And even when thoughts enter your head that maybe disturb you, don't fret, as they are only thoughts and unenlightened beings such as us can't ever be totally in control of our thoughts, no matter how hard we wish and believe we can.

Give up the fight

Seeking can be fun. I am a seeker and have been for many years. I enjoyed all the different paths and beliefs systems I explored. Although I wasn't sure what I was always looking for, deep down I was looking for enlightenment. Trying to seek my way to 'gnosis' so I could have it all figured out. As I mentioned in past posts, it never worked. There were times I was close to the goal, but it was always just out of reach.

I am still a seeker today, but that's not really overly positive, but it's my karma. Luckily the Nembutsu is there to keep me from jumping into many more pursuits that always end the same way. It may sound like I am 'closing off'' some aspect of my life and my mind by trying to limit my seeking, but I see it more as getting of the merry-go-round to nowhere. That's why I am thankful for the Nembutsu. Always keeping me at peace and knowing it's ok to give up the fight to try and be enlightened. It's just not possible in this life and this age.

Most of my struggles have been caused by endless seeking. It's my karma, but by the vow of Amida and with Nembutsu as my tool I am able to somewhat counter that karma and rest in Amida's promised Pureland.

Namo Amida Bu