Many people say, 'why are you so down? why are calling yourself unenlightened? you seem so negative about your life!'
When I hear this I tell them that I am not down, I am not negative, but I am unenlightened. I actually get great peace and happiness knowing I can rest in Amida's vow and I no longer have to worry about my spiritual path, but I am still unenlightened.
And that doesn't mean I or anyone else can't do wonderful things in this life if it's our karma to do so. I will admit there is many things I am good at. I know people who do and create amazing things. This is not what I am talking about when I get down on my enlightenment. I could build 10,000 bridges of amazing engineering, and I could be proud of that, but it won't make me enlightened. Spiritually there is no way to save myself, except through Amida's vow.
Simply put, feel free to pursue your goals, dreams and desires. Be proud of your accomplishments, but remember, when it comes to spirituality or your enlightenment, there should be no ego there, as you can not become enlightened in this life or the next, without the Amida Buddha's help. And that doesn't mean him helping you do the work of enlightenment, but you taking your hands off the wheel and turning over your enlightenment completely to him. All you need to do is trust in the vow and say the Nembutsu when you remember to. And even if you forget to do the Nembutsu as much as you would like to do, no worries....
Namo Amida Bu
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